Male Sex Toy

I’m currently working as a US contractor in Iraq. I’ll be here for the majority of this calendar year, with a month for R&R back in the states in april/may. Guys outnumber girls on this base at least 10 to 1, and we have a “good” female population.

A few months before I left the US, I met a super awesome girl who decided she wanted to stick with me even though I was going to spend the next 11 of 12 months in the middle east. I chat with her or call her everyday and we’re stronger than ever. We sometimes also have video chats over skype. (i think you can put two and two together)

Anyway, for Christmas, I bought her a vibrator. I figured if I wasn’t going to be there to provide for her, I’ll get her the next best thing. It’s called a Layaspot, cost me 50 bucks, and she won’t stop raving about it. It’s even compact and can be hands free, so apparently it’s perfect to use DURING sex (which is a bonus).

I’m pretty sure she didn’t even know the fleshlight existed before I brought it up in a joke one day, and she looked it up and was kinda amazed. I even joked around “well, I did buy you a vibrator”

Fast forward to today, when I get my Valentine’s presents from my girlfriend. Two boxes. We’re video chatting over Skype so she can see my reaction.

And there it is. Big plastic black flashlight lookin tube. WIth a bright pink jelly sock feeling thing. The end of course is fashioned to look like a vagoo, and the inside is kinda silky feeling. Better yet, the way the thing’s designed, it definitely “pulls” my finger when I stick it inside. This could be pretty interesting.

Oh, yeah. I got Hershey’s Hugs and Kisses too.

Well, my girlfriend didn’t really want to witness the fireworks, (i guess her using her device is more visually stimulating… and I’d agree) so she left for work and me to my own devices.

The instructions say that you can warm it up with some hot water…. so I do that. I grab some of the warming KY Jelly that my girlfriend also thoughtfully included. I Fire up some big natural titty porn. (Ana from Bangbros, and then some Gianna)

I had my reservations.

1. It looks kinda weird. Like some kinda alien space ship with a vagina powered booster rocket.
2. It’s a little weighty, at about 2 lbs, not quite the ease of use as “Good Ole Righty”
3. I’d be essentially fucking an inanimate object. Is this one step before sheep? Have I gone too far? Are any stuffed animals safe now? Body pillows? I mean, if you’d fuck an alien space tube, what’s worse?

But…. it was a gift from my girlfriend. I do love her. A well thought gift, considering she knows of my plight. My plight is that it’s been about 4 months since my last sexy time… and I had never gone more than a month in the last 8 years. I’d pretty much fuck a hole in the wall if it didn’t cause me serious bodily harm. So… what the heck? I’ll give it a shot.

So, big titties are being bounced around on my computer screen, warm the bishop up the old fashion way… apply generous amounts of KY, and away we go.

And instantly I think….

Why the hell did I wait 3 months to get one of these?

It felt freaking fantastic. Like, obviously not like the REAL thing, but damn close enough. It’s certainly better than the bad and mediocre blow jobs I’ve had in my life… but not quite as good as an expert one. And if I wasn’t such a breast fetishist, I would rank it above titty fucking in terms of feeling (since it definitely has a grip).

And’s the kicker: it grips. You can even ADJUST the amount of suction by unscrewing or screwing the cap on the bottom (PROTIP: much more difficult with lubed up hands, still need to have the washcloth handy anyway)

And when Old Faithful blew, it was definitely a blowjob/sex quality explosion as opposed to a “jerking it” explosion. The quality was right up there.

Sure… there’s a bit more prep time and cleanup time than the “hand jerk it into the cum rag” method… but when you want to treat yourself: this is the way of the future, gentlemen.

So, if you have a long distance girlfriend, don’t have a girlfriend, or just want some better competition so you don’t have to fuck some ugly ass broads… this is your answer. The Fleshlight.

Man tested… Renegade approved!

 Click Here To Visit Fleshlight.com

Fleshlight Girls